The Easy Way Out

          In my opinion, gaming has quickly become less about fun and testing yourself, and more about leader boards and easy kills. From developers to players, we have created a gaming culture in which the easiest path is obvious and encouraged. This sentiment is seen in almost no other sport, however. You didn't see Barry Bonds get away with corking his bat, and you won't see steroids legitimized for pro football players. You do, however, see quick scoping work its way back into Call of Duty, and the ability to buy all Battlefield 3 vehicle upgrades from the live marketplace. Is it just me, or is the industry handing out god mode passes to anyone interested? Players have apparently lost touch with the good old philosophies of earning your keep, and taking the road less traveled.

          RTSs have always been a passion of mine. There is nothing quite like winning a game with pure tactics and battlefield creativity. It is strange to me that a simple board game such as chess has survived through the ages, while the RTS genre, its gaming equivalent, appears to be running on empty almost from the start. I enjoy getting multi kills in Halo as much as the next guy, but after a few hours of exerting my dominant reaction time, my mind craves a challenge as well.

          Let me be clear about this from the start; I’m not saying that FPSs don’t challenge you or require a certain set of skills to become proficient in. The fundamental difference between many modern FPSs and most other video game genres is the degree to which a person lacking experience or real skill can overcome their handicap by simply picking better gear. How else do you explain the rampant use of guns like Modern Warfare 3’s ACR and FMG9s? These guns are no frill, death machines, tailored to maximize kills, and minimize effort in doing so. To me, that's what it seems to be all about these days, minimizing effort. The ACR is pinpoint accurate, shoots fast,, has a large clip, and does decent damage. With this gun in your hand, good aim or the ability to control for recoil are not necessary to have an extremely successful game. Similarly, the FMG9 akimbo shoots incredibly fast (doubly so with akimbo), has a tiny hipfire reticle, and has a huge magazine. The FMG9 akimbo as a secondary is better than many of the primary weapons on smaller maps. Now I understand that certain players find themselves outmatched by more experienced players, and use these guns to gain an edge. This playstyle is fine to me. Where the problem arises is after the match ends and these same people talk trash about how much they pwned you. To talk trash with an ACR in your hand, is much like bringing a gun to a knife fight and bragging that you won. Oh, and one more thing: modded controllers…..enough said.

Full editorial written for TalkingAboutGames. See the rest at http://talkingaboutgames.com/?p=24486

Hater Blocking, Without Hater Blockers

          So I noticed you’ve been catching a lot of flak for doing so well on online. I’m sure you’re wondering how I noticed this. *Hides camera* Don’t worry, I have my sources. What’s more important here is your lack of adequate retorts. Well yes, it CAN be hard to come up with the perfect one liner to send them to the corner with a “Dunce” cap, but luckily I’m here to help. I may not be the best player out there (then again I might be), but I know how to handle myself in game chat, which can sometimes be more useful. Now let’s make one thing clear, I’m not advocating for trash talk…..I’m advocating for reverse trash talk. After all, they started it. Here’s a breakdown of how to deflect all that hate coming your way:

Insult about your mother (classic opener):

          The important thing here is to stay calm. Like Dorothy Mantooth, your mother is a saint so don’t believe their lies. What you want to do now is claim you have no mother; come up with a better childhood story (sorry mom). For example, you were raised by a pair of endangered white Bengal tigers. When these tigers came under poacher attach, you were separated forever and forced to join civilized society under the moderation of your court appointed guardian Roy Horn. To this day, you search for your furry parents. People won’t know how to handle this response. Maybe they say something mean about the tigers, whatever, you weren’t raised by tigers, stupid them. Keep the story going if you have to. Eventually you will probably get some laughs from the rest of the game lobby, dissuading the incoming hate even more.

Want to read the rest? Visit http://talkingaboutgames.com/?p=24232 for my full editorial.

Gamers Dating Gamers

          Today I want to talk about girls. Now I know this isn't really a gamer's area of expertise, but I'm going to put my best, and probably most futile, effort into warning you about something you may stumble upon if you leave the basement to get another six-pack of Mountain Dew.

          It's not girls in general that you need to be warned about, God knows your parents have probably tried awkwardly at that already, but young ladies who call themselves gamers. If you consider yourself to be a gamer, I'm sure you'd like to find a girlfriend who's a gamer as well. Am I right? WOAH there! That was a trick question, and see how easy I have caught you off guard? Let's examine this further.

          So you meet a girl, and she says she's a gamer. Ok, fair enough, but how much of a gamer? A girl once described herself to me as a gamer, and when asked what she played, she hit me with "Mario Kart." As I recall, I was drinking something and nearly choked. For the ladies reading this, that does not qualify you to even jokingly refer to yourself as a gamer. While Mario Kart is admittedly a fantastic game, it is more of a pastime. That's like saying you are an excellent pilot based on your computer flight sim. Moving on.

          So we have got those posers out of the way, but what if they aren't lying? This path could be even more detrimental to your potential future relationship.....with your console or PC. You ask her if she's a gamer, she says yes, and drops all the right names. You're love struck. You're booty blinded. She asks you out. Your mouth managers to spit out the word "yes" through your drool. Life seems great, until you realize you've created a monster. You play games a lot, right? So does she. You want to finish your campaign tonight, right? So does she. It's a matter of sheer physics. There's one Xbox, one copy of Skyrim, and two people that want to play it. Ladies and gentleman, we have reached an impasse. So let this be a warning, if you are going to date a gamer, make sure you've got the hardware to support the relationship, and I'm not just talking about the bedroom (unless you have a console there).

          Now that we have gotten to the real meat of the issue, it's time for the proverbial double rainbow "what does this mean?" It means that the secret lies, as it usually does, in moderation. If you plan on exhibiting none in your gaming life, you better find someone who does. Find the girls that get bored after two games, they won't tie up the Xbox all night. Or look for the ones that stick to handheld gaming, they make for nice company while you play real games. If none of this works for you, long distance may be a good fallback.

Like My Blog? Check This Out!

          If you like my blog, you will like some of the latest content from the awesome gaming website TalkingAboutGames.com (TAG). I have recently begun writing editorials for TAG, featuring many of the same topics you will find on this blog. The website is still in the beginning stages, but already has a good following that continues to grow. If you are looking for a great gaming website, check out TAG and don't forget to look for my editorials (look for "Written by Nick Krone").

L2P Your Class

          This one goes out to all the boys and girls who are doing it wrong. Whether its an FPS, RPG, or something in between, there's a bunch of people who just don't get it. It's not that hard, most of the games even help you out.
          Take Battlefield 3 for example; the classes are named according to their purpose. Could it get any easier to figure out? If you're playing support and your using a sub machine gun, YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG! If you're recon and using a shotgun, YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG!
          Now let's take Modern Warfare 3. Some of the class/weapon combos in this game are mind-bogglingly absurd and illogical. If you are using an LMG with Marathon, YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG! If you are using Marksman on anything other than a sniper, YOU'RE DOING IT EXCEPTIONALLY WRONG!
          Wanna switch up the game? Me too. Let's take the always lovable World of Warcraft. What's that? You're a Priest who only joins groups in Shadow? YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG! You're warrior doesn't have tanking gear, YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG!
          It's simple really, but somehow everyone seems to get it wrong. When you pick a class, figure out what its designed for and what its benefits are. Finding a good multiplayer lobby in Mass Effect 3 would take 1/4 of the time if I didn't have to kick so many adepts with shotguns or engineers with snipers. Please people, please, L2P your class.